Here's my problem:

Why doesn't anyone warn you that getting in shape often means that you end up weighing more and that your pants won't fit?

If I wanted to buy a new wardrobe, I would have just gone out and done it, or oh yeah, not quit my job and decided to go back to school and rendered myself broke. Because let me tell you, this girl cannot afford new pants right now.

So listen up ass and thighs. Go back to the way you were. I'd rather be skinny and continue wearing my $200 dollar jeans. They aren't flash in the pan items and I intend to keep wearing them. Just as soon as I can button them, or honestly, get them over my thighs and around my ass.

But seriously, why is there no mention of this when people say they work out? Now I'm going to the gym but trying to do cardio that doesn't build muscle just so I can continue to wear my "investment pieces."

The things we do...

Ciao Italy

I'm about to leave Italy and am now well in to the second half of my trip. Next up is Greece and after quite a bit of time in Rome, I can't say I'm super sad to be moving on. While I love so many things about this country, there are a few things that are starting to get on my nerves -- namely the men.

Never, never, have I felt so objectified and preyed upon by men in my entire life. Walking down the street is a drain and passing by groups of police officers makes me feel as safe as a little boy at Michael Jackson's Neverland. Making eye contact is like saying you'll sleep with them, and if you smile or say more than your order to a waiter, you might end up pregnant.

The girlfriend I'm traveling with gets it even worse than I do since she can speak Italian and is more they're 'type' than I am. And, generally I wear a face that say's 'fuck off' to men more naturally after lots of practice and teenage years spent being an undesirable, but my poor friend had to adopt it here, and more importantly, wear it convincingly.

A shining example: At lunch last week, neither of us were in the mood to do more than eat and make conversation with each other, but we always order in Italian and (maybe since we're American?) this is seen as an invitation to be hit on. During our time there, one waiter touched her back while taking our order and later, another waiter came up and stroked her face when she was looking down in what maybe appeared to be a contemplative moment.

He literally came up and stroked her entire face with the back of his hand and tried to hold it for a moment! Had we not been so shocked, he would have lost a finger right then and there.

We've been proposed to while buying sodas, touched while trying to eat meals, moaned at while walking down the street and felt up on buses. Another friend told of how it's not uncommon for a man to expose himself to you. Extreme, yes, and probably by a lunatic, but nonetheless, peen in public, no other way to look at it.

The Italian women obviously don't set themselves up for it the way tourists do, since they have the best 'fuck off' faces of all. They walk down the street with purpose, never making eye contact, and never acknowledging the men around them, but I still wonder if they get it as badly as a tourist does? I would think not, otherwise it would be hard to procreate with someone who's opening line consisted of, "Very nice, very nice, the body and the face is all good, very nice."

No matter how hard one can try to fit in here, it's always going to be obvious that we're not locals. I can appreciate that. But I'm looking forward to going someplace where that fact alone means it's open season on my ass.

Excuses

I know they're lame, but here is another:

My computer broke. The sweet little laptop that I took with me has decided to only display a cryptic screen stating "NTLDR is Missing." So, after exploring Italian repair options, I expressed shipped it's lazy ass back to states and it's promptly being shipped back to me. So after almost 3 weeks with no free internet, I will be up and running and back in the spirit.

Thanks for checking in though, regular programming to resume as soon as I can get my hot little hands back on it.

Paris

Jam packed exploring day -- get ready to be exhausted from the rundown.

The morning (well, let's say 11:00, because generally we don't get moving very quickly, but thankfully, neither does Europe):

• Metro to Sacre Coeur - We use our best "don't eff with us" faces to ward off the swindlers & pickpockets at the gates of Sacre Coeur; the cathedral is beautiful, more for the view and because of the white Gypsum that it's made from than the actual interior
• Montmartre - Awesome district of Paris that has roots as bohemian and artsy -- this is where the starving artists lived after the turn of the century because no one could afford the heart of Paris -- a really lovely neighborhood resulted; Think it's where I'll stay next time, as it's got cafe after cafe and great shops at reasonable prices
  
• Moulin Rouge - Crap hole, but you figure "well, while I'm here, I should at least walk by..."
• Lunch - Small outdoor cafe that was probably chosen more for the crepe stand rather than the sandwiches; Banana and Nutella crepes are introduced to us
  
• Bus to Luxembourg Gardens (by way of Louvre (super long walk) and another long walk in search of a boat thinking that maybe now is the time to go down the Seine)
• Luxembourg Gardens are amazing, even more amazing is the number of people in it; Paris, like Seattle, potentially consists of people that flee their offices at the first glimpse of sun in spring as the grounds are crawling with people (non-tourists) -- reading books, playing chess, bocci ball, kids having toy sailboat races, etc.
  
• Plan to go down river is hijacked by my desire to go to Flamant on the left bank (endless buses and walking/getting lost necessary to find the store that doesn't exist on maps, phone calls to my sister for directions ensue, as well as a Google map from a hotel concierge)
• Explored Saint Germain-des-Pres as a result of (being lost) looking for Flamant
• Finally find it! Friend gets hit on by two shopboys (real phone numbers and everything) and we're invited to go dancing; I'm told I am "beautiful, like our paints" and other people in the store laugh at the stupid American girl who is trying to ask what kind of base they use - "Resin? Acrylic? Clay?" Things get massively twisted around in translation, conversation is a lost cause
• Flamant bonus: Laduree is nearby, so I buy the famous macaroons for us under the guise that it's a thank you to friend for aimlessly wandering Paris due to home store fetish (really just wanted to stuff face with cookies...)
  

Evening:

• Louve - Bus back to central downtown area and hit the Louvre after the Friday evening admission discount is in play; Power through the exhibits even though we're starting to feel the effects of the day; Highlight is not the Mona Lisa, but rather taking pervy pictures in a deserted wing of the Roman statue hall, wild schoolgirl giggling ensues
  
• Close down the Louvre and catch metro to the Eiffel Tower area so we can get on a boat for the river tour
• Disclaimer: Thought long and hard about this, but after being told to do it by several Parisians, we opted to follow-through -- especially thought it was a good way to see Paris at night since we were not staying in the thick of the city
• Consensus: Nice way to see the city at night, but wouldn't make the same recommendation to anyone else, some Asian guy did take friend's picture though, potentially thought she was part of the tour, as people think she looks like Britney Spears
  

12:30 AM:

• Exhausted and whiny, we catch three different metro trains to make it back to the 'burbs; oddly, apartment owner has left us a note saying she's not sure whether she'll be home for the night (shacking?) so we have the apartment to ourselves, not that we needed it, we both fell asleep immediately.

Big day. Did the tourist in us proud.

I'm the idiot who didn't know about Zara Home

I'll say it. I didn't know there was Zara Home. How stupid does that make me on a relative scale?

While experiencing, spotted these goodies that will have to stay right there since there is no room for home goods in my bag:


Overall, I thought it would be a good place for accessory-type items in the states, but aside from that, I was a little underwhelmed. By all means, let me know if I'm missing something and there are major gems to be found on a large scale, but it really seemed like a glorified Pier One.

Sp-elgian?

I saw this chair in a shop in Spain and kind of had to laugh. It is so Belgian upon first glance, but then you can see that the legs and arms have just a crazy amount of detail and engraving on them. I mean carvings out the wah-zoo.

Maybe it's the compromise the Spanish made with the Belgians when they agreed to import their style, like "we'll take your neutral fabrics and paints, but we won't give up our right to carving!"

Anyways. Musings on foreign policy and design.

Now that's a door

A great door in Seville that I came across. Loved that is was massive and imposing, but you could still get a peek into what is a beautiful courtyard, and if you look hard enough, their dog that is watching from behind it.

Shameful...

I am hanging my head in shame, but as my Parisian friends would say "eet eez so 'ard" to get some of this damn stuff up on the internet.

Empty promises, but I do promise, they aren't. I've been to Flamant and embarrassed myself with terrible French and a point and shoot camera, I've got some pictures of some walks around Spain and Paris, so sit tight. I'll get in gear with the proper internet and computer set up shortly.

Regular programming to continue as soon as possible.

London could teach us something

While I've been to stressed and tired to take pictures of the people I've been watching during a two day stay in London airports, I have witnessed one of the most diverse populations. Granted it's an airport, so everyone is coming and going, but just based on the people helping us in restaurants, ticket counters, etc., there is way more diversity than what I get back in the states. Whether it's a gaggle of punk teens or just the general appearance that everyone is from somewhere else, it's really quite amazing.

Wish I had some pictures of the fashion that I've seen on the teenagers around here, so refreshing after being around teens that look no different than 30-year-olds due to whatever bug is going around in the USA making kids grow up too fast.

Mostly Hippie Bullshit

Kate Moss's spring line at Top Shop offered only these two items in my opinion, but don't take my word for it, see for yourself here.