I know, I know...

It was pointed out to me today that I have let my internet-self go. And trust me, I know.

I'm adjusting to this thing called school, and more importantly, homework. And really, it's not just homework, because I can read circles around a textbook, it's the mindless cutting and pasting and drawing that is accompanying my art classes. The project I handed in on Monday clocked in at 14 hours from start to finish. Just me, a stack of magazines, my exacto, and Bravo on in the background.

But, sitting in class, listening to teachers, has given me time to bring up a few things to myself. In no particular interest, they're gems like these:

1. Gossip Girl: Is anyone even watching? Because I know that I have made a point to tune in and then find myself wondering why I was duped again into thinking it was a good show.

2. People still smoke cigarettes out their car windows? Years of riding the bus to work deprived me of this anthropological study.

3. How did I get so much older than everyone else? I thought I was still in the "young" box, but not if you wear cashmere sweaters to school.

4. Kathy Lee and Hoda are retarded.

4a. Hoda might not have been retarded before working with Kathie-Lee, but now she's a lost cause.

4b. BUT, who saw Kathie-Lee almost lose her shit on Kathie Griffin when she compared her book to the bible? Priceless. Way to love all God's creatures, Kathie-Lee.

5. If I roll my eyes at someone's question in class, but no one sees me, is it the equivlilent of a tree falling in the woods and no one hears it... did it really happen?

6. Last time I went to school, Oprah had shows like makeovers and Julia Roberts interviews. Now it's stuff about prescription drug moms and incest. What the hell happened? Where's my warm fuzzy?

7. Popping a bag of popcorn and not eating the whole bag is a waste. Who honestly just eats a portion of the bag and then lets the rest go to waste? "I'll just have these few tiiiinnnyy kernels, mmm, filling..."

8. Sometimes I daydream about how good I would be at working for Jeff Lewis. Mostly because he loves the new girl based solely on her vibe and because he thinks she's cute (cough). This leaves me feeling jealous, thinking "Well I'm cute, and I think he'd like my vibe, and I wouldn't call him 'Jeffy,' so clearly I would be far more superior." Bat. Shit. Crazy. You don't have to tell me.

9. I left my rain coat at a party two weeks ago and it was identified by the mini bottle of Crown Royal in the pocket. Today, it started raining and I remembered I had neither my rain coat, or my Crown Royal to combat the weather.

10. I need to make some friends at school.