I know, I know...

It was pointed out to me today that I have let my internet-self go. And trust me, I know.

I'm adjusting to this thing called school, and more importantly, homework. And really, it's not just homework, because I can read circles around a textbook, it's the mindless cutting and pasting and drawing that is accompanying my art classes. The project I handed in on Monday clocked in at 14 hours from start to finish. Just me, a stack of magazines, my exacto, and Bravo on in the background.

But, sitting in class, listening to teachers, has given me time to bring up a few things to myself. In no particular interest, they're gems like these:

1. Gossip Girl: Is anyone even watching? Because I know that I have made a point to tune in and then find myself wondering why I was duped again into thinking it was a good show.

2. People still smoke cigarettes out their car windows? Years of riding the bus to work deprived me of this anthropological study.

3. How did I get so much older than everyone else? I thought I was still in the "young" box, but not if you wear cashmere sweaters to school.

4. Kathy Lee and Hoda are retarded.

4a. Hoda might not have been retarded before working with Kathie-Lee, but now she's a lost cause.

4b. BUT, who saw Kathie-Lee almost lose her shit on Kathie Griffin when she compared her book to the bible? Priceless. Way to love all God's creatures, Kathie-Lee.

5. If I roll my eyes at someone's question in class, but no one sees me, is it the equivlilent of a tree falling in the woods and no one hears it... did it really happen?

6. Last time I went to school, Oprah had shows like makeovers and Julia Roberts interviews. Now it's stuff about prescription drug moms and incest. What the hell happened? Where's my warm fuzzy?

7. Popping a bag of popcorn and not eating the whole bag is a waste. Who honestly just eats a portion of the bag and then lets the rest go to waste? "I'll just have these few tiiiinnnyy kernels, mmm, filling..."

8. Sometimes I daydream about how good I would be at working for Jeff Lewis. Mostly because he loves the new girl based solely on her vibe and because he thinks she's cute (cough). This leaves me feeling jealous, thinking "Well I'm cute, and I think he'd like my vibe, and I wouldn't call him 'Jeffy,' so clearly I would be far more superior." Bat. Shit. Crazy. You don't have to tell me.

9. I left my rain coat at a party two weeks ago and it was identified by the mini bottle of Crown Royal in the pocket. Today, it started raining and I remembered I had neither my rain coat, or my Crown Royal to combat the weather.

10. I need to make some friends at school.

Back to School

I remember walking back from class after my last day of undergrad and singing "no more homework, no more books. No more teacher's dirty looks."

Boy was I tempting fate. Because here I am, about to start my fourth day of school and it feels totally weird. Today, I stopped at my sister's house on my way home from class and had two chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk at her kitchen table as an after-school snack.

I've totally reverted.

Well, maybe not totally reverted yet, because to be honest, my real after-school snack back in the day was an entire box of Kraft mac and cheese and the Oprah show.

I'll let you know when I regress entirely.

More Pools Needed

As excited as I am about Fall rolling around, I'm also really missing all of the lost opportunities for laying by the pool. Not that I've done much of it this summer (since getting back to the states that is), but just when I feel like I could really use that vitamin D and a good stupid book, it's yanked away. To mourn out loss, I've gathered a few of our friends together:








I wish it wasn't such a waste to have a pool in the Northwest due to rain and cold, but I almost feel like just having a really wonderful pool adds so much to a property that just by looking at it everyday the effects are felt.

Now where's my Zoloft?

"Shines like suntan oil on a gay man's ass"

I have to thank Scented Glossy Magazines for posting this, but I'm passing on the joy. The combination of Miley Cyrus, a handful of gays and the coast is the perfect way to start the morning.

Thank goodness I decided to pass on the double latte, I would have been pissed that I spent $3.32 when I can have this mood-lifter for free.

One Pair Down

Countless pairs to go. I fit back in to ONE pair of my matchstick jeans, just in time for fall boots. Thank god. My favorite pair, however, is still a good way from fitting like pre-Europe days.

This is the reaction I get from my boyfried (via text, because we are a 21st century couple appearantly) upon hearing of the small victory:

"Boo that you Kate Moss-ed your Kim Kardashian."

Nugget of wisdom that I'll choose to take from that: He knows who Kate Moss is... the Kim Kardashian remark is duly noted.

Flamant: Tres Chic

It was painfully impossible to post pictures of my trips to various Flamant shops in Europe and then when I got home, well, I forgot that I had been hanging on to all of these sneaky pictures. I made it a priority to go to Flamant in any city that I could, which means primarily Paris and Rome. Sadly, I wasn't impressed by the Rome store, so it didn't make the cut, even though I spent an hour walking there (but hey, it's Rome, so no love lost). The thing about Flamant is that it's so beautiful, they generally frown on pictures being taken. Unless you have the cache of an elderly French woman begging permission for you (the case for me at the Saint-Honore shop) or at Rue Furstemberg, manage to exchange your phone number for the right to "discreetly" snap some pics. My lovely friend thankfully was just their type so she kept them distracted while I raced around taking pictures from the hip -- hence the lack of composition and focus. Net net, I'm not above whoring myself out to shopboys if it means bringing home some Flamant.

8 Rue Furstemberg, 8 Rue De L'Abbaye: two entrances, two addresses means twice the Flamant -- this is the biggest Paris store and it's conventiently close to Laduree. The entry to Rue Furstemberg shop is all greenery and flowers. Walking in, you almost think the store is a florist, but alas, it opens onto wonderful furnishings. Unfortunately, this is where I sold my soul to the French, so no pictures resulted of this area.

I would love to own this coffee table. The proportions and material are ideal, I just wish the photo wasn't so darn blurry. I remember almost being seen taking this particular photo...

I would love to someday own some of their glassware. It's all so beautiful -especially their stemware. It's also gorgeous.







Such a wonderful chair for a bedroom. It was the perfect size and the lines were so romantic in person, without being overly sweet.


Recognize this chair? It was in the other store in white, here it's in a child's bedroom.


They have the most amazing bookcases. This one only gives a taste of the ones that are all over the store. Everything about them is wonderful.


The downstairs of the Rue Saint-Honore shop has a kitchen vignette and again, it's wonderful. Thick Carrera marble on cabinents done in a warm gray. The photo just barely shows that the face of this island is composed of wide planks. Loves it.


I had to get a photo of this staircase for my files. I would love to do this staircase someday.

Such a great wingback, done in a warm taupe/gray linen. Is linen ever wrong? I submit that it is not.

Those branches and hurricanes - stop it! It's just too good. I love the height that branches give and I also love how modern they can make a space look. It's an added bonus that they are the chic version of fake flowers. You get all the ease and longevity without having to be my Aunt Sandie.

Oh I wish I had a better picture of this settee. It was truly awesome. I also love the jardinieres on the table.

If only my friend and I had actually gone out with the shopboys -- I keep thinking of a night that ended with me coercing them to let me back in the shop under the pretense of 'having a little fun.' Wouldn't they have been so disappointed to learn that my idea of fun would have consisted of sitting on all the roped off chairs and playing house in all the different rooms?

Different strokes...

Put a ring on it

I've been in love with Northwest jewelry-designer Jamie Joseph for a few years now and I'm kicking myself for not buying one of her rings when I was still on my former career path and getting a paycheck. Such a stupid decision to go back to school when I like pretty (expensive) things. Damn this penchant for caviar dreams on a Chicken of the Sea budget.

The rings above (my favorite for anyone who cares - ahem) are rose quartz and white drusy (with diamond). The drusy is this amazing layered stone, so in the middle is an increasing amount of flecks and dimension. It's amazing.

For a better view, visit here.

Go Fly a Kite

Yesterday I flew kites with a bunch of carnies. 121 of them (the kites, not the carnies), all for a PR stunt that I got roped in to due to my intense need for cash. At least it was honest money, which is more than I can say about some of the other schemes that have been dancing through my head. This story was inspiration enough...

But all in all, over 100 kites at Gas Works is a sight to see. Carnies and all.

And, a moment of silence

For these shoes. I die. Click to enlarge if you can't see them in all their gold sparkly glory.

One more look...


Update: Upon seeing these shoes my boyfriend says, "Let's make those. Get in the car, we'll go to Pay-Less and buy some glitter and Elmers and red spray paint"

Jesus.

I wish I looked like this walking down the street.

Well, let me clarify that by "this" I don't necessarily mean waif-thin and craggy, but I do wish that the look of total empowerment was all over me like it is on SJP. She's just got that strut.

I think few women ever have a moment where they feel like they look this damn good walking down the street. It's easy to look this amazing when you can go somewhere and not also have to have a bag for a laptop, a pair of comfortable shoes on (because are you kidding me with those heels?) and an additional bag for the rest of your life, aka a purse. A clutch during the daytime? Where would I put my string cheese?

Regardless. You can almost hear the accompanying music to this scene, because it's the same thing that would be playing in my head if I were to ever have a moment where I knew I looked this good.

September

I can hardly wait to see "The September Issue" when it comes out. How intimidating is Anna Wintour? Intimidating in a way that only a handful of people will ever truly experience.

Fall is in the air people. Boots, sweaters... I can't wait.

"Larger and Thicker"

This article had me cracking up well into the day after reading it. It gets better as the story unfolds. God I love the WT -- if it weren't for stories like this I would maybe never smile.

Police: 'Chunky' escorts rip off intoxicated men

Posted by John de Leon -- From Times staff reporter Christine Clarridge:

Mountlake Terrace police are on the lookout for a trio of escorts who are alleged to have stolen about $440 from four customers who had invited them over for a weekend party. The cops have their work cut out for them since they're relying on four victims who were "incredibly" intoxicated and provided only the barest of descriptions.

According to police, the four victims decided, after a night of drinking at a Mountlake Terrace home, to pool their money and hire an escort from Craigslist early Saturday morning. "They found a woman whose picture they found appealing and called," said Det. Sgt. Doug Hansen.

But when the woman and two female friends arrived, the men later told police, they found that none of them looked like the woman in the ad. The women were described vaguely to police as being "larger and thicker" than the female pictured in the Craigslist ad.

"The men said they were not as advertised," said Hansen.

Nevertheless, the disappointed men -- who ranged in ages from 22 to 46 -- handed over their money while the women were still at the door, police said. One of the women then asked if she could use the bathroom, police said.

But instead of going into the bathroom, the women ducked into a bedroom and started rooting around for things to steal, including a Blackberry and some jewelry, Hansen said. The men saw her and tried to stop her, but the woman ran outside to her friends and all three raced back to their car, a maroon Ford hatchback.

The men chased after them, but one man was run over when he tried block the women from driving off. The man suffered injuries that required a two-day hospital stay, Hansen said. The men were unable to get a license plate number.

The suspects were all described as being about 5-feet-8, white and "chunky," in their late 20s, possibly from Tacoma. One had curly, wavy brown hair and called everyone "baby," the men told police. The second had lip piercings and stringy brown hair. The third had short, sandy blond hair, according to police.

While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4."

Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company

Little touches, big impact

I'm liking these rooms from designer Lori Graham. Pretty simple, but nice touches here and there make the rooms stand out.


It's probably the painted woodwork that is making me swoon, but I like the simplicity of this hall entry.

Don't you just want to wake up here? So white and serene - I love that bedside table.

The drapes that have just the slightest hint of pink in them is what stands out for me. The bookshelves that have been painted white with black insides, paired with unexpected pink is perfect.

I've really been liking the wool in weaves that remind me of felt. It's so masculine, but on chairs like this that have been painted white, it becomes very unisex and beautiful. I also love the box they've made to cover the radiators. They can be such a waste of space, but here they become extra seating.

To me this is a great version of a man's bedroom. It's masculine, but not in any way that borders on bachelor pad.

I've already made my love of bookcases clear, but I love the symmetry of these and the way they pop against the white of the living room and how the black shelves mirror the ebonized floor.

Charlie...

News hit yesterday that my buddy Charlie Gibson is retiring. It's a sad day for my family when something happens to our news anchors -- Peter Jennings passing literally brought my parents to their knees. And for me, Charlie quite simply is the news. While growing up, Charlie hosted Good Morning America. Then, he "retired" and when ratings plummeted, ABC begged him to come back, and then with Peter's death, he moved to my evenings rather than my mornings. Moral of the story, I have virtually never been with out my Charlie.

Two stories illustrate his importance in my family:

1) I have ever only had ONE reoccurring dream: I wake up in the morning and turn on the television, but instead of finding my Charlie, sitting there like the schmuck that he is is George Stephanopoulos (not cool, because I've hated him ever sense he turned on Clinton back in the 90s). The dream concludes with finding out that Charlie has died in the night and Stephanopoulos is his permanent replacement. Cue me waking up in a cold sweat.

2) Yesterday when it was announced that Charlie was finally retiring at the end of the year on the evening news, the phone immediately rang at my house and on the other end was my sister, in despair. She had just heard it announced, whereas I had had a full 9-hours since NPR's Morning Edition to come to terms with it. We eventually hung up, but not before she proclaimed in a sad whimper that Charlie was like a father to her.

It's amazing how the loss of a face in a TV can send us reeling, but there is something about news anchors that makes my family cling on for dear life. Somehow we imprinted on Charlie Gibson and now, he's the news anchor that all others must surpass. Waking up to him each morning, and now ending my day watching him, has bookend-ed a long period of my life and to no longer have him delivering the news is truly an end of an era.

Happy retirement Charlie.

Case of the Tuesdays

Today is just going to be one of those days, isn't it?

One of those crappy, nothing goes right, off-days. Gmail isn't working, things are way more complicated then they should be and I ate a grilled cheese sandwich that I totally regret.

I want to just close my eyes and either move 12-hours forward or 12-hours back. Right now. If I did go 12-hours back, though, I'd have to workout again today and that is so not happening.