Oh yeah, this is happening.

As previously mentioned, I usually am superlame for halloween. Last year I got home from work late, had no costume or candy for trick-or-treaters and was expected at a party within hours. The situation left me with few options, save for stealing my boyfriends (very long) white button down and white socks and passing myself off as Tom Cruise in Risky Business. The Ray-Bans I borrowed from a friend helped, but I can admit it was a lame costume.

Well not this year, my friends, not this year. Are you ready? Because I (and every other gay man in America) am being Lady Gaga.

But not just any Gaga, I'm wearing my most favorite costume of hers, the bubble dress.

...with, ahem, a few more bubbles than that.

Similar to my hit "grapes" costume of 1996 I will be 4 feet wide and everyone's favorite. It is made with clear balloons, nude leotard, fake eyelashes with silver flair and the nastiest $4 bob wig from JoAnne's. IT WILL BE AWESOME!!!

So there it is, my extravaganza of a Halloween costume. I better win a prize.

Eh, it's you know, Halloween

I can get a little passive about holidays and usually, Halloween is the one that leaves me a little cold.

But not this year. I've warmed up to the idea of Halloween (let's face it, probably because it's on a Saturday) and also, I'm loving some of the decorations that have come out.

These terra cotta gourds are from Wisteria:


As in this kick-ass skull candle:


And if I were the sort to ever throw a Halloween party, I would be all over this, from Potterybarn:

For your enjoyment

Sometimes I get the best emails from friends. They make my day, and because I was mid flu, I didn't give this one the attention it deserved, but overall, it was a hilarious note and I decided to share my friend's third point (yes, we organize by number)....

3 - And having nothing to do with your post directly (but you referenced Piperlime so I'll use that as a transition) tell me you watched the finale of the Rachel Zoe Project. There might not be another human being that I hate more on this planet. If I was given the power to go back in time and erase someone from existence, she would be my vote. Not Hitler, not Stalin, not Pol Pot, no, Rachel motherfucking Zoe. Key take-a-way, there's something about Taylor I find oddly attractive.

Clearly I disagree with his sentiment, as I feel RZ is here to make me laugh. But I do agree that sometimes Taylor is kind of attractive. When you can see her face without those damn bangs all up in there.

Oh man, too funny emails. May they keep coming.

Z to the Oh

I couldn't help myself, I had to look through the Rachel Zoe collection on QVC. Here are my favorites. And btw, the price points are fantastic.

Glazed Multi ring tote - 129.50

Expandable travel tote with removable strap - 113

Faux fur pull through scarf - 29

Fashion ring - 35.96

Yo Tyra!

Just a piece of my mind to Tyra Banks:

You can't have a show with the premise of making supermodels, but have a season devoted to girls who are 5'6" and under.

If you are 5'6" and under, you are not a supermodel, you are a pretty, pretty girl. Just like the millions of other really pretty girls who are average height.

Supermodels are supposed to be freaks, that's just the way it is. You just wasted a whole season of everyone's time. Kate Moss is an anomaly.

Argh, it frustrates me. Get it right.

Time for Tea

It really feels like fall in Seattle and to me that means a few things: boots, cashmere and warm drinks. I'm a big tea drinker. I usually have black or green tea in the morning instead of coffee and with all the recent news about the health benefits of tea (specifically green) it's a good move, even if you have to have a cup of coffee to start your morning before switching over.

Sadly, my favorite warm drink has no health benefits, but fall warrants Russian Tea, aka, the most white trash and delicious version of tea that you can mix up. I love that it tastes so good it constitutes as dessert on many nights during the winter and that once it's made up, you can store it for use all season. It's a drink from my childhood and the first cup of the year is always momentous.

So really, don't be afraid to get in touch with something that doesn't do your body good. It's the best.

2 cups Tang (yes, Tang. I wasn't kidding about the WT factor...)
1/2 cup instant tea
5 ounces instant lemonade
1/2 sugar (can be reduced to taste)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cloves

Mix and store in a mason jar. To serve, mix 2-3 teaspoons with hot water.

To be clear, I have no idea why it's called "Russian Tea." Based on the ingredients, maybe it has something to do with food lines, communism and poverty... your guess is as good as mine.

The Universe Stepped Up!

I think that the universe must have known about my lack of self-control because it got involved in my battle of the bulge and gave me the flu.

Despite the fever and cough, it paid off today when I got on the scale and found myself suddenly back at my pre-Europe weight. Sure I had gotten the ball rolling this summer, but without that flu who knows how long I would have continued to self-sabotage!

So thank you germs. Without you, I would not be able to consider my entire closet for the trip to New York. Without you I would still be dancing in to my pants, wiggle by wiggle, shimmy by awkward shimmy.

Hot Plates*

I got to thinking this week about some of the best china patterns. I have no idea why, except that I have a few friends who are getting married and I like to play registry consultant, and also, china is something that really defines your tastes, I think because you make a committment to to your china pattern -- you have it your whole life, sometimes longer than the marriage!

One of my favorites that is just so beyond, it's a total pipedream. It will be one of the patterns that I spend my life collecting, hopefully finding them at a good price, piece by piece. It's Hermes' Balcons Du Guadalquivir. It's truly amazing. I love the way it looks on it's own, I love that each plate is different and I love the way it mixes and pops on the table. Swoon.

A more mainstream (and less budget busting) choice is by good ol' Vera Wang. I like two of her patterns, Imperial Scroll and Trellis. Personally, if I had to choose one it would be Imperial Scroll, just because I like the simplicity of it and it's not a pattern that I would see at a girlfriend's house. I like Trellis for the same reason, it's graphic but not in your face. One of the biggest mistakes people make is picking a china that is so trendy you're just asking to hate it in 10 years. I can't imagine hating either of these.

Imperial Scroll

Trellis

The last china that I love is one that is close to my heart. It's not mine yet, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't called dibs on it or have the heart for a battle royale with my sisters when the time comes for it to leave my mom's possession. I'm going to get in trouble for saying that. It's Flow Blue by Johnson Brothers of England and was produced in the 1880's. It's so pretty in person with amazing scalloped edges and crazing.

I keep coming across good patterns all the time, but these are a few of my all-time favorites. You can't go wrong with them.

*"Hot plate" is a little bit of a joke to myself because Mexican restaurants always say "hot plate, hot plate" when your food is delivered. It always makes me laugh, and I always watch to see if if makes anyone else giggle... alas, it's usually just me.

New York

It's official, I'm going to NYC in November. Pretty exciting, considering that I have never been there. Here's the thing though, I want to make sure that I don't miss out on something that I really should see. I'm not much of the tourist type -- I will not be going to see the Statue of Liberty, I won't be going to see the Rockettes. What is on my list right now is the MoMA and a few home stores.

But what I would really love are some recommendations. So if there's anyone out there with some good design recommendations or restaurants that shouldn't be missed, please pipe up.

Thanks in advance, it's an interactive post!

Still Sick & Eddie Ross

Today's the first day that I've really started to feel like myself again, thank goodness. While I don't think I had the bad swine, I do think I had the pleasure of meeting the seasonal flu. And last night, I choked down the Nyquil and had the first good sleep since Tuesday. Amazing. Although my eyes still look swollen and gross, but I'm not being choose-y.

What I have learned is that TLC airs the same commercials over. And over. And over. Also, I have learned that I can't get tired of Say Yes to the Dress and that Eddie Ross is on HGTV's Halloween Block Party. I really wish he wasn't since I grew so tired of his bitchy attitude on Top Design, but seeing as how it's HGTV, his 'competitors' have terrible designs, so I guess it's favoring the best of the worst.

I know that some will disagree, and I do think the guy's got talent and the ability to self-market. But all I'm sayin' is that if you think you're shit don't stink, someday you're going to step in it.

Sweaters on the Cheap

Sweaters have been the topic of conversation lately now that it's cold in Seattle, but more than anything, it's the lack of thrill I have when looking at last years champs in my closet. The question this year is how to fill the void without creating another (in my wallet). I've been looking around and I'm not too discouraged by what's out there. All under $100 (some on promotion), all from mass retailers.

Ann Taylor. They've been getting SO much press this season, and rightly so. They have a collection that is much more stylish than usual an well priced. This sweater is on promotion for half price.

The sweater blazer, again from Ann Taylor. Worth a try and different from the usual cardigan. Also half price on promotion right now.

Splendid. One of my favorite brands. I love that this is like wrapping up in a pashmina, but with arm movement! One of the most annoying things about the pashminas I wore at the office all the time was the mobility and the fuss factor. Here, no muss, no fuss. It's available at Piperlime.

Banana Republic

Anne Taylor. Cashmere that is half price, got to love that. What is especially great about this one is that it's timeless. It's reminiscent of J.Crew's cashmere, but way less green.

It's official.

I've been knocked on my ass with the flu. Unclear whether it's the swine, can you ever really tell? Regardless, the fever is going down and I'm somewhat functional. Well, functional enough to post, NOT functional enough to do more of that god-foresaken cutting and pasting that comprises my homework. Thankfully, my school is super paranoid about Swine Flu, so I think all it will take is an email to the profs letting them know I've taken to my bed with illness.

In actuality it was probably the world's way of saying that I needed to take a minute to post and that my glue covered hands needed to be rested.

So here I am, two down blankets that are being thrown off and then on, off and then on. Gotta love a fever.

I'm So Sorry.

I never meant to make you look at Lindsey Lohan's boobs for so long. To subject anyone to that picture for as long as I did is criminal.

I'll never do it again.

Promise.

(but maybe if she does something stupid, then it's my obligation to report)

Who cares about Lindsay?

I don't. And I know you don't either.

But I do care about how she mucks up Emanuel Ungaro. In what has to be a perfect example of celebrity gone wrong, they've made Lohan a muse for the fashion house and (surprise, surprise) it wasn't well received.

Maybe it's because she wears things like this:

I don't even know where to start.

Please notice the thong, you might have been distracted by the Daisy Dukes and cut-off shirt. I believe it is the "accessory" in this outfit.

"Hello my name is..."

My favorite quotes from the New York Times article included treasures like these:

"One retail chief said he had asked for a ticket only because he thought the show would be a spectacle. Another said he would not buy the line, but declined to identify himself “because I don’t want my name associated with that train wreck.”

“You know, if you don’t mind, I have to run out the door,” said Glenda Bailey, the editor of Bazaar, before a question was half asked.

And my favorite...

“But when you look at her own style, for me, she is not really relevant, first regarding fashion, and second regarding a couture house like Ungaro. Maybe she would be relevant for Kookai,” she said, referring to a label that is considered, among the fashion elite, as “not us.”

And it's because this girl is at Ungaro holding court, acting like the idiot that she is:

"The day before the show, Ms. Lohan was staring at herself in a mirror in Ungaro’s grand offices on the Avenue Montaigne, a stone’s throw from the ateliers of Yves Saint Laurent, Givenchy and other famous French labels. She picked up a black and white scarf and tied it around her head, then replaced it with a black one, and then clumsily stuck a red sequin-covered heart to the side of her head while a team of designers watched her.“This is just so cool,” Ms. Lohan said, turning her attention to a white minidress splattered with sequins. “It needs more rhinestones, just so it pops.” Off to the seamstress it went. Pointing to another white dress, she said: “I call it Michelle Pfeiffer in ‘Scarface.’ I was just in my office sketching for next season. I was here until, like, one o’clock last night.”

Please, if we lose another house, don't let it be because of stupid, stupid moves like this.